Watching Bleach
by ii-Phoenix-ii
Summary: The captains and their lieutenants get locked in the meeting room by some invisible girl and are forced to watch Bleach. [AU]


**Chapter 1: The Note**

**Disclaimer**: I do not Bleach

**Important**: _What the captains and vice-captains see is _AU_. It follows canon but there's a lot of fanon as well._ _This story takes place after The Lost Substitute Shinigami Arc. (Which I skipped since it was kind of boring) I've stopped watching _Bleach_. Forget the current arc in this story._

* * *

"Ah, Captain Kuchiki, I take it you and your vice-captain also got the note, yes?" The captain of the 13th squad, Jūshiro Ukitake, asked politely.

"Yes," Byakuya nodded curtly.

Currently every one of the captains and vice-captains of the Gotei 13 was present. The only exceptions were Aizen, Gin, and Tōsen. Rukia, Yumichika, and Ikkaku were also present.

"I wonder where Captain Aizen is," Hinamori thought out loud.

"Yeah, my captain and Captain Ichimaru aren't here either," Hisagi looked around.

"Quiet," Yamamoto's voice halted all conversations. "I am sure you are all here because of the strange note we have received. It seems 3 captains were not invited."

He held up his hand, knowing people would begin talking. "According to the note I received, the young lady says she has invited us here for her own entertainment. I dismissed it as a prank but obviously it is not so. The door has been sealed off and we are stuck in here."

"She must be one wrong woman. I wanna fight her!" Kenpachi grinned wildly.

"How do you know this is a woman?" Renji asked out of plain curiosity.

Yamamoto held up the note. There were smiley faces and a silly cartoon drawing of a girl smiling and giving a peace sign.

"We have been trapped by a child," Byakuya frowned.

"Hey! I am not a child!"

"Who said that?"

"Does it really matter?"

"Show you face!" Soi-Fon glared, looking around the room.

"Holy crap! There is actually someone older than me but shorter than me! I think you're my favorite character now, even if you do like cats."

Soi-Fon's face turned murderous. "You're going to suffer a slow and painful death when I get my hands on you."

It seemed Toshirō wasn't the only one with insecurities about his height.

"…Maybe I'll go stand by Kyōraku."

Everyone suddenly turned to the easy going captain of the 8th division. He looked around. "Why can't we see you?"

They heard a loud sigh. "It doesn't matter. This isn't about me."

"Fight me!" Kenpachi yelled.

"Ah no, I don't have a death wish thank you very much. Besides, knowing my luck, I'd probably trip and accidentally impale myself with my own sword."

"Hm, you seem like such an interesting specimen. I would love to have you come over to my lab and study you. Don't worry. It won't hurt…much." Mayuri was already making plans, rubbing his hands creepily.

"…I change my mind. If I had a choice, I think I'd rather fight Kenpachi and die. You're such a creep, dude."

"Enough," Yamamoto slammed his staff on the ground.

"Wow, take it easy old man. It won't help in upcoming battles if you get high blood pressure."

Everyone tensed at the words.

"What is this about?" Komamura grunted.

Another sigh was heard. "Just watch."

"Watch what?" Isane asked looking around.

Right as she finished her sentence, a huge black wide-screen T.V. appeared.

"Um, voice?" Rangiku asked, unsure of what to call her. "It seems like we're going to be stuck here for a while. Is there any chance you can provide a little sake?"

"Matsumoto!" Hitsugaya yelled.

"That would be a no. Alcohol is very bad for you, you know."

"What do we call you?" Izuru inquired politely.

"How about—"

"Candy!" Yachiru yelled, beaming.

"Sure, why not? I like candy."

"Nemu, take notes, this entity likes candy. We could use it to lure her out."

"…And you guys are supposed to be the good guys? Alright, enough talking. Let's watch some T.V. and rot our brains!"

Candy magically turned the T.V. on before anyone could ask her any more idiotic questions. Such as: What's a T.V.?

**Toshirō and Rangiku were walking up the stairs towards an apartment. Or skipping in Rangiku's case.**

"Look captain, it's us!"

"I see that. But where are we and what's going on?"

"Stop interrupting and watch!" Candy yelled.

"Um, excuse me, Candy? What about the other 3 captains? Shouldn't we wait for them?" Hinamori asked.

"No." She said bluntly. "I mean Gin's cool, Tōsen's not, and Aizen's a bastard. Does that answer your question?"

Everyone portrayed some level of shock.

"How dare you! They are very honorable men—"

"Yeah, yeah, old man, we're all entitled to our own opinions, aren't we? Just watch the damn T.V., alright?"

Hinamori looked angry and was about to say something but the volume of the T.V. went up.

"**I'm so excited! We're in the World of the Living again!"**

"**Just remember why we're here," Toshirō said seriously.**

"**C'mon captain, loosen up and learn to live a little. Here we are."**

**The door opened and an auburn-haired young woman smiled.**

"**You're here! Come in."**

**The two shinigami came into the apartment. The first thing Rangiku did was, of course, give her a hug.**

"**Orihime-chan, I missed you so much."**

"**I missed you too Rangiku-chan."**

"Aw, she's so cute," Rangiku smiled.

"But she's a human. How does she know you?" Rukia asked in surprise.

A shrug was her answer.

"**Toshirō-kun! Look at you; I think you've grown taller. You're almost as tall as me now."**

**She gave him a hug and he gave a ****_very_**** tiny smile in return, patting her back with one hand.**

Hitsugaya was about to yell but froze. He _did_ look like he had grown.

"Oh look Shirō-kun, you're getting taller," Hinamori smiled, temporarily forgetting her anger. He blushed, looking pleased at the T.V.

"**You're just in time for dinner. I made Chazuke with red bean paste and wasabi sauce, for some extra kick, just for us."**

"**Sounds good," Rangiku grinned. **

**Toshirō sighed.**

Majority of occupants in the room anime sweat-dropped. Some looked sick.

"**I'm not hungry," Toshirō declared.**

"**Don't worry Toshirō-kun; I made some for you without extra ingredients."**

**He paused for a moment,weighing the pros and cons, then sat down to eat. The trio ate happily while Rangiku and Orihime chatted about nothing important with occasional comments from the 10th division captain. They contacted Yamamoto shortly after they were done.**

"**Inoue-san," he nodded to Orihime.**

"**Yamamoto-sama," Orihime bowed politely.**

**He turned to the shinigami in the room, "Anything to report, Captain Hitsugaya?"**

"**None, but we only just arrived so it is to be expected. But there might not be anything to report."**

"**True, but we can never be too careful, especially with this town. Keep your eyes open and contact me again when you find something."**

"**Yes, sir," Toshirō nodded.**

**The trio left the room and went back to the living room.**

"**So, what exactly is going on?" Orihime asked. "I heard from Ichigo that Soul Society would be sending some shinigami to investigate. What exactly are you looking for?"**

"It is clear that the human girl and this 'Ichigo' know of our existence as well as Soul Society's," Soi-Fon frowned.

"She's even met Yama-ji," Kyōraku noted.

"**The 12th division's sensors picked up unusual activity here. They don't know what it is so they aren't sure if it's dangerous or not. We're here to investigate."**

"**Have you felt anything Orihime-chan?"**

"**No, I haven't. I'm sure Ichigo, Uryū, and Chad haven't either. They would have told me otherwise."**

**Toshirō nodded, "We'll be meeting up with the others tomorrow morning. Let's get some sleep now."**

**Orihime and Rangiku went into Orihime's room while Toshirō crashed on the couch. The sun rose the next morning and the trio were walking into a shop. They joined Ichigo, Uryū, Chad, Renji, Rukia, Yumichika, Ikkaku, Tessai, Yoruichi, and Urahara.**

"Urahara!" Mayuri looked surprised. Soi-Fon stiffened when she saw the former head of the 2nd division.

"Eh? Who's he?" Kenpachi asked.

"A traitor and criminal," Komamura's vice-captain, Iba, snarled.

"Why would Shirō-kun and the others go to such a man?" Hinamori asked, worried and confused.

"Just watch people," Candy huffed. Everyone was surprised since they forgot she was there.

"**Well, if it isn't our favorite tiny captain!" Urahara waved his fan stupidly at them.**

**Toshirō glared but never got the chance to reply when the rest murmured their greetings. They sat down and Yoruichi began explaining, "Now, we've gathered here today to discuss a possible threat. The sensors have picked up unusual activity and Soul Society has sent Captain Hitsugaya and the others to investigate. It might turn out to be nothing but knowing this town, it is better safe than sorry."**

**Ururu brought breakfast and they discussed while they ate. Rangiku was, unsurprisingly, the loudest. "We should split up into pairs! The girls are with me."**

"**You just want to go shopping," Toshirō rolled his eyes.**

**"You can come too if you want."**

"**Don't you have enough shoes and clothes already?"**

"**Silly Ichigo," she laughed at him like he was a naïve little boy. "A woman can never have enough shoes and clothes!"**

"Amen to that," Rangiku nodded with a grin.

"**Rangiku-san's right though." Urahara got weird looks. "About moving in pairs, that is. Rukia and Orihime can go with her." The girls agreed immediately. Ikkaku and Yumichika, of course, stuck together.**

"**I will partner up with Chad," Uryū fixed his glasses, looking at Chad and nodding. **

"**That leaves me and Renji." Ichigo smirked at him, "Don't slow me down."**

"**Took the words right out of my mouth," Renji head-butted him.**

"**Patrol duty it is," Yumichika stood up.**

**Ikkaku followed him, "I hope we run into something strong."**

"I don't understand," Ukitake frowned. "It seems to me like Urahara is on our side."

"Maybe this is an alternate timeline," Unohana suggested.

"There have been many theories about that, but nothing definitive," Candy said, making everyone jump. "Seriously people, I'm offended how easily you guys forget I'm here."

"You _are_ invisible." Kyōraku pointed out. "Maybe if you show yourself…"

"Nice try." Candy rolled her eyes. Of course, it was lost on everyone since they couldn't see her.

"**This looks cute! And this! And this!" Rangiku said, window shopping.**

"**Matsumoto!"**

"**Why are you in such a bad mood, captain?" She turned around. He was holding 3 huge shopping bags, on each arm. Two bags had Orihime and Rukia's items, the other 4 belonged to his vice-captain.**

"**Would you like some help with that?" Orihime offered politely.**

**He wanted the help but Toshirō's pride got in the way. "It's fine, thank you."**

"**Just think of it as practice till you find yourself a girlfriend." Rangiku winked as Rukia and Orihime giggled together. "Besides, if you didn't want to go shopping, why did you come with us?"**

"**This is the most heavily populated area. The biggest group should be here."**

**And right on cue, a hollow roared in the distance. The shinigami quickly took some soul candy and left their faux bodies. "Go back to Orihime's apartment," Toshirō ordered. They nodded and walked away.**

* * *

"**You're holding it upside down," Ichigo showed him the right way. They were strolling through the park, one of hot spots for hollow activity.**

"**I'll have to buy of these MePods," Renji eyed the blue music player in his hand curiously.**

"**It's an iPod," Ichigo corrected. "And why do you have to dress like a hippie? People always look at us funny!"**

**They heard a hollow roar in the distance. Ichigo turned left and Renji looked to his right, they both yelled, "This way!"**

"**I'm the shinigami here and I say it's this way!"**

"**You're as bad at sensing as I am! Besides, this is my home and I know better!"**

"**What's that got to do with anything, stupid?" A tick mark appeared on Renji's forehead.**

"**Who're you calling stupid, ****_stupid_****?" Ichigo pointed angrily.**

**"Your hair's stupid!"**

**"Your face is stupid!"**

"**At least ****_my_**** name doesn't mean strawberry!"**

"**At least ****_I_**** don't look like a doodled pineapple!"**

"It's like you're brothers," Hisagi snickered along with most of the others in the room. "A two-man comedy act."

Renji didn't dare look up, in fear of meeting his captain's harsh and disapproving gaze.

**The hollow roared again. They cursed. Ichigo sat against a tree and pulled out his badge.**

"A Shinigami combat pass," Byakuya muttered, eyes slightly wide.

"What does it do?" Rukia asked, taking in the captains' shocked expressions. Ikkaku, Yumichika, Kenpachi, and most of the vice-captains were also looking around, puzzled by their comrades' reactions.

"Just watch and you'll understand," Komamura answered.

**Ichigo pressed the badge to his chest and left his body.**

"I thought he was human," Renji's eyes widened. "How did he become a shinigami?"

"He's a Substitute Shinigami," Candy corrected. "A human who gained shinigami powers. Ichigo turned into one to protect his family. It's normally forbidden but he's an exception."

"Shouldn't he have lost his powers by now?" Mayuri observed him with creepy interest. "From the familiarity they display, it looks to me these humans have known about us for some time."

"Like I said, he's an exception."

**Ichigo and Renji raced towards the hollow. It was a strange mix of a rhino and an octopus. Or so he thought. Renji ran up to it and slashed one of its tentacles. It regenerated. "Tch, annoying." This time he aimed for its face. "What?" His zanpakutō was unable to cut through. The hollow knocked him away.**

**This time Ichigo took a swing. He ran into the same problem. "Hey Renji, why can't we cut through the mask?"**

"**Hell if I know."**

"What's going on? A simple hollow can't be strong enough to withstand a direct hit from a vice-captain level shinigami," Isane said with worry.

"**There's more than one way to skin a cat," Ichigo raised Zangetsu above his head.**

"**Skin a cat?" Renji looked disgusted. "What kind of freaky hobbies are you into?"**

"**It's an idiom!" Ichigo snapped.**

"His zanpakutō's huge! It has to be in Shikai," Ōmaeda gaped. "But when did he release it?"

"It was like that when he transformed you big fat idiot," Soi-Fon glared.

"**Getsuga Tenshō!" A crescent-shaped blue light pierced through the hollow and killed it.**

"What the hell was that?" Renji yelled, earning himself a look of disapproval from Byakuya.

"I wanna fight him!" Kenpachi yelled. "I wonder how strong he is if he can do Bankai."

"There's no way a Substitute Shinigami can reach Bankai," Byakuya sniffed. "It's incredibly rare even for a _real_ Shinigami."

"Hey Candy, what _was_ that? Was it really his Shikai?" Toshirō asked.

"Yeah, it was," Candy laughed. "Just wait, you haven't seen anything yet!"

Murmurs broke out all over the room. What exactly were they watching?

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**03/04/16:** This story is being continued. It was a hair's breath away from being axed, but then I re-read it and kind of got excited.

_**Please Review~**_


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